Things That Make Me Twitch

1. Brown belt - black shoes, or other way round
2. Wearing blues together that don't match
3. Wearing two different plaids, or stripes, together
4. Chipped nail polish
5. Flood pants
6. People who "break into" something new without reading the directions first.

So, being "twitchy" like I am, there is NO way I should love making socks so much. Truth be told, it's a relatively new love affair, I've only just started my 5th pair, but I think it'll last. They're so fun, so portable, so relatively inexpensive, and they work up rather quickly.... or can be ignored for awhile when you get enamored of a new, more exciting project... they don't get jealous, they know you'll be back.

Besides, I was NEVER going to attempt socks. That's just crazy talk - those should be left to the experts. I mean, you're talking heel flaps, turning heels, gusset decreases with those stitches going every which way - I'm still amazed when it all comes together and actually looks like a sock. Then one day I'm watching Knitty Gritty on DIY and the chick is doing Sock 101 - and ya know.... when you watch her do it, it all makes sense - now that's not so hard.

So, I start with BIG yarn and BIG needles and whip out a couple of pairs of slippers. This is SO fun! They work! Now I'm "all that" in my head so I head off to my not-so-local yarn store for some real sock yarn and.... oh silly me.... come home with Wildfoote and #2 DPN's. What was I thinking. My eyes are way too old for this. My regular old lady reading glasses aren't cutting it, and I'm not going to be so lame as to go invest in even more powerful $10 Rite-Aid glasses just for knitting (okay, so I probably will, eventually). You know, I've got enough things that give me a headache, like red wine, or bright lights, or getting too hungry, or my children.... I don't need knitting socks to give me a headache.... this is supposed to be fun, remember.

So, I persevere... with my splitty yarn and teeny needles, and red eyes. I'm heel flapping along now, and all of a sudden things are completely out of control... I don't know, I've split another stitch, or dropped something... who knows. All I know is I don't seem to recognize anything anymore. So, I call in the reinforcements.... "Kaaaaaity, I need help again..." "Oh, what NOW, Mom?" So she's sitting on the couch, with her young eyes, really concentrating, DPN's sticking out every which way.... trying to figure out what in the world I've done.... and then she just starts cracking up. "Ah!, I just poked myself in the eye with one of your stupid #2's!" Oh yeah, people, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!

Well, eventually she gets me going again, and I actually finish BOTH socks (thank goodness they're only footies). They're full of mistakes, but whatever, you can't see them from where you live, or stuffed in my tennies, and I've learned some valuable lessons: No more Wildfoote, and no more #2's, at least until I get better granny glasses.

So, seasoned socker that I am, I'm off to pair #4. Lion Brand Magic Stripes. I know, I should just run the other way any time I see anything that says "Lion Brand," I'm never happy. But, hey, I need the practice before I invest in the good stuff, they're washable, and who am I fooling, fashion plate that I am, I'm only going to be wearing them under my jeans and with my Converse. Off I go, so far so good, they're looking pretty good except for that funky red stripe they've thrown in... but whatever. I'm heel flapping away, and start to pick up the stitches along the sides of my heel flap and think... hey, I should probably check the directions, see how many they picked up (like mine is ever anywhere near that.... but whatever) and there it is, Mother of Pearl! (Purl??, hee hee), you gotta be kidding me. "Hey Kaity, check this out, is this the way you make yours?" "Yes, mother." I'm on pair #4 and I just now notice the pattern says to do a decreasing gusset round alternating with a plain knit round. Hmmm, I've never noticed that, I just decrease every round. Same with my toe decreases. Really? So, I go pull out all my old directions from my other socks and, what do you know... alternating rounds, who knew? So much for reading the directions!

So, this is my FIRST pair of socks actually made correctly, and check it out... I'm sure you can see it.... Oy, do they make me twitch

I mean, I just about unwound the whole stupid ball of yarn making sure I found the correct repeat, you know, so the stripes would match and I wouldn't twitch.... and I work cuff down, so look, it's perfect, until about the gusset decreases, then the yarn just loses it mind and goes off on it's own, who knows where, never to return..... Ahhhhh!!!!!!!

Luckily, as you can see, the twitchy part is hidden in my shoes

So, really you'd never know.... but, hey, you've gotta understand, I'm twitching every minute I have these puppies on. And, no, I don't wear them like that.... all Pippi Longstockings-like, my jeans are not flood pants and they cover it all..... (still doesn't stop the twitching).

Glutton for punishment that I am, I just cast on for my blue Jaeger Matchmaker socks, and I'm thinking long socks with cables down the sides. No, I don't really have a pattern, but I have a hairbrained idea that might work, and I've done cables before.... once. This should be good.