Thursday, October 20, 2005

Duct Tape and Short Cuts - Just Say No

Ok - we have three kids, now ages 16,17,19. Stuff goes on. Stuff I don't want to know about, stuff I wish I didn't know about.... stuff I'm sure I still don't know about! They pick on each other, they "love" each other... stuff goes on. It's like with babies, you learn which noises/yells are serious and which don't require investigation. You can usually tell a "call 911" scream from a "If I have to come up there, someone's gonna get beat" scream. (No, I don't really "beat" them.)

It's amazing the stuff kids will do- stuff beans up their noses, "trim" their bangs... oh you know, if you've got kids you've got a list a mile long of your own "stuff." Most of it makes us laugh.

So, about a year ago the girls are 15 and 16, and they're upstairs in their room. I'm downstairs. I hear this blood-curdling scream. A "call 911 scream." I jump up and head for the stairs... then I hear uncontrollable laughter. I stop....hmmm, that's weird. I guess their okay. I don't go up and check. (I know, what was I thinking. I'll tell ya what I was thinking... I was thinking I've been up those stairs a bazillion times already today, to break up a fight, to look at a cat doing something cute, to check on .... whatever). So, a few minutes later, another scream - you'd swear someone's arm's being lopped off or something.... but then, again with the uncontrollable laughter. I mean, they're laughing so hard they're probably peeing their pants kind of laughter. Now I've gotta know what's going on. I head upstairs....

Daughter #2 is "waxing" daughter #1's eyebrows - with duct tape. Oh - my - gosh. What are they thinking? Where do they come up with these ideas? Step away from the duct tape and In-Style magazine.... Do you know how lucky you are it didn't work and you have ANY eyebrows left at all??? I mean, to begin with, duct tape is not a precision beauty instrument. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? Did you really think your sister had your best interests in mind when she was coming at you with the duct tape? Whose idea was it to begin with? And.... after it hurt so much the first time.... you let her do it again??? This conversation, of course, while I'm laughing so hard I'm trying not to pee my pants!

Short cuts- she just couldn't take the time to pluck her eyebrows hair by hair.... so someone had the bright idea to find a short cut.

So..... my Sitcom Chic. Someone stop me - I'm desperately looking for a short cut. I'm making it with long sleeves rather than 3/4 sleeves, because I want a wear-everyday functional sweater, with full sleeves. But, don't you know... I hate making sleeves.... they're boring, and worse, there are TWO of them. I've got second-sleeve-syndrome already, and I haven't even finished the first one yet.

I've tried this one sleeve on numerous times, trying to talk myself into 3/4 sleeves - it really wouldn't be so bad.... Okay, it's not what I want, but I would be done sooner. The constant cream-coloredness sleevage is boring me to death at this point. No, I really want full sleeves - just suck it up and keep knitting. If I give in to my impatience and knit 3/4 sleeves I'll be unhappy every time I put it on.

Okay, okay, okay.... I'll keep knitting. But, I'm gonna get a hold of Wendy , now that she's mastering the two socks on two circ's method, and have her teach me, so I can do two sleeves at once.... I mean, worse than second-sock-syndrome, who wants a sweater with one sleeve.

And, if I show up on this blog in a cream-colored Sitcom Chic with 3/4 sleeves, it means I've given in - someone come over and beat me.

BTW - do you know how hard it is to get a picture of your own eyebrow? Oh, and sorry girls, I just had to share ; )

12 Comments:

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Kaity said...

NOT COOL! It wasnt my fault, She's little and quick, she jumped on me and overpowered me... and It wasn't duct tape, it was that clear stuff.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger LC in Sunny So Cal said...

Now THAT'S funny...and almost enough to make me wish I'd had more than one kid. No, on the other hand, I am the other kid.

I hope it stopped with eyebrows. That bikini thing would just be over-the-top cruel.

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger Kaity said...

Eww, Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Thats just wrong. Ew.

 
At 5:18 PM, Anonymous heather said...

It's amazing what you can do with duct tape.

Good luck with them there sleeves. Can't wait to see what you end up with.

 
At 6:55 PM, Anonymous Jeanie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. Too. Funny. I mean, I'm totally rolling over here. I have a terrible/hilarious story that I plan to share soon about how my youngest son put not one, but TWO magnets up his nose (one in each nostril) at the same time. Well, the "attractive" (as in magnetic attraction) quality of the magnets made them shoot up his nose to the narrowest section (which is at the bridge of the nose) and they were TOTALLY stuck to eachother. Yep, it was a trip to the ER. At the time, I was horrified, but now we can look back at it and laugh. Sheesh. Kids!

Okay, and you most definitely need to do full sleeves. NO SHORTCUTS FOR YOU!!! And did I miss the button results?

 
At 6:56 PM, Anonymous Jeanie said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the magnet thing was NOT that long ago, DS son was DEFINITELY old enough to know better.

 
At 7:44 PM, Anonymous erin said...

I'm glad your girls still have eyebrows. Yup, I discovered that long sleeves are a bigger piece of knitting than the front of a cardigan. Treat yourself to some chocolates every few rows :) And I like the flower button from yesterday's post.

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger amylovie said...

OK. I'm going to tell you my crazy kid story that happened two days ago.

The ladies from my knitting group took me out to lunch at a lovely Mexican restaurant in town. We were eating on the covered patio outside, and all of the kiddos were milling around the huge fountain. I look to see what they are doing, and daughter H is DRINKING OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN. I scream at her to stop, but it is too late. After returning home, I watch for any signs of sickness. I think we're in the clear. Oh no. Not even. The next day around 3:00 in the afternoon MASSIVE problems (I won't give you the gory details). As you said in your post "WHAT WAS THE KID THINKING???" She had a perfectly sanitary drink sitting on the table. Kids!

 
At 9:11 AM, Anonymous Laura said...

KnitPicks has a pattern for two socks on two circs that shows you how to do it. Someone posted the link at Knit and Tonic...oh, I just found it, here 'tis. http://www.knitpicks.com/Projects/Projects_Display_Yarn.aspx?itemid=50417220

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Ruth said...

LOL! that is SO hilarious!!! poor kaity hehe. i'm sure my own mom has stories of me, and my mother-in-law has always been open to sharing things about my husband when he was growing up. fun stuff, hehe.

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger keohinani said...

ahahahahahahahahah!!!! that is HILARIOUS! why didn't i think of that? oh wait, it didn't work, did it? hmph. i guess not EVERYTHING can be solved with duct tape, as they say. too bad, though. i was going to test it out on the bf. hehe...
btw, thanks for all the nice comments on my blog! good luck on the sleeves, too. the perseverance will be worth it in the end :)

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger candsmom said...

That is too funny!!! At least she was spared and had some eyebrow left. Reminds me of the time I decided to "shape" my brows after being inspired by Seventeen magazine. Only they kept looking uneven, so I kept plucking. And plucking. Then I happened to step back from the bathroom mirror and looked at my whole face instead of just the brows. And started screaming- the call 911 scream. ;-) Looked like one of those eyebrow-less Japanese aristocrats from the feudal days. Scary stuff!!

You know we're all going to call you out if you show up with a 3/4 sleeve. :-) Blog pressure will keep you on the long-sleeve path. I've been wanting to make this sweater, so I'm excited to see how yours turns out. And to see which button finally made the cut. :-)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home