Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Good Thing I Learned to Knit


Things are always changing. I've got a few Tuesday afternoons to myself left, then school's out - then my Tuesdays are not my own again.

That's not really a bad thing - it's just a "busy" thing - and after 20+ years of it being all "about the kids" - I'm just getting a glimpse of real "me time." But, the truth is, I can only handle it in small doses...

Three summers ago I realized that I was going to have three whole days alone - just me - for the first time since the kids were born. There was an overlap between the girls being at Youth Group summer camp and the guys not being back from Scout camp yet.... and three days where they'd all be gone at the same time, and it would be JUST ME.

I was so excited! I told everyone! Not that I don't love my family and having them around, but literally, I had not been home ALONE for 17 years - at all. I had visions of doing whatever I wanted, eating whatever I wanted, going wherever I wanted, sleeping in, watching my movie choices - it was going to be all about me - for 3 whole days. I couldn't wait. This was gonna be the greatest thing since, well I didn't know what - but it was gonna be GREAT! Me, me, me.... 3 whole days.

Turns out, I hated it.

Well, it was good the first day - but then it got old, real fast. I guess I'm pretty boring company. I realized I didn't like it if there was no one around who cared. I sat and ate alone, albeit ice cream for dinner if I wanted, but alone. I found out I liked having someone to talk to, to care about whether I had ice cream for dinner. I would get up and plan to do "whatever I wanted" - but it didn't matter, because no one cared what I did. I found out that I liked it when people cared, when people meddled, when people "needed" me.

Too many years of being the mom and wife - I could hardly stand being my own company, for three measly days.

But you know what..... I didn't knit back then. I have a feeling maybe I could do it now. I could knit ALL DAY! - and have ice cream for dinner!

I'm probably fooling myself - I'm still "needy" - but I'm sure the knitting would help. Seeing that next year the "baby" will be a senior in High School and I'll have two in college - I'd better start practicing. Pretty soon I'll have all the time alone I want - and I don't think I'm gonna like it. Thank goodness the hubby will still be here, but he's pretty self sufficient, and busy.

I'm not gonna be a good "empty nester" - I can tell now.

Good thing I learned to knit.

27 Comments:

At 9:11 AM, Blogger LC in Sunny So Cal said...

You and me both, Babe. DH thought, when Sweetpea was little, that a GREAT Mother's Day present was to absent himself with her for the day and "give me the day". Sheesh...I felt TOTALLY abandoned. Hated it.

I'm a pack animal. Maybe a herd animal. But not a loner, that's for sure.

 
At 9:44 AM, Anonymous amanda cathleen said...

Its really really weird when the house is quiet!! The first hour is fantastic, then it just sucks!!

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger Sonya said...

I can so relate. I lived alone for a long time back in the day, and it took me a long time to get used to never. being. alone. We've been together 12 years, and only recently did I notice that when I'm alone for the day I get a little hinky. I do like controlling the remote though.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Katie said...

I love that photo of you in the hammock, Lynda! It's very Wendy-esque. And the hummingbird. I wish I could be faithful to those little guys, but every year I put out a feeder, and eventually I start neglecting it, and before long it's full of ants and the hummingbirds have found another place to eat.

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger Noeysmommy said...

I have Tuesday afternoons to myself too...but only 3 more till school gets out!! I can only handle a short time by myself too....then I start missing my baby!

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Chris said...

I bet knitting WOULD help. It also takes practice to be good on your own. :)

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

I already feel weird when I'm totally alone in the house. It's good for an afternoon, but I'd miss everyone something awful if it lasted for days.

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger amylovie said...

Not me Lynda! I cherish every "me" moment I can get.

I cut my hair too. On the same day even. Five inches...GONE!

Amy

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger amylovie said...

Your's looks awesome by the way. Don't you feel lighter?

Amy

 
At 6:03 PM, Anonymous heather said...

I love being home by myself--during the daytime. I get scared at night, the boogie man comes out then.
I know what you mean, we're attached to our family more than we ever knew, even when they drive you insane with whining, or constant need for clean underwear.

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Oh my, it certainly isn't that you aren't good company. It's that you are GREAT company . . . so you love to have people to share with. And to care with. That's what it is. I remember when I used to do EVERYTHING alone. Now me and Pea even go for haircuts together - and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

 
At 7:47 PM, Anonymous Beth said...

I totally understand. I seem to crave alone time, but then when I get it I kind of roam around the house.

I like the picture of you in the hammock, too!

 
At 11:55 PM, Anonymous Dipsy D. said...

I can imagine so well how strange and even scary it must be to be alone, all on their own, for someone who's been surrounded by children and family for decades, who's never had some real "me"-time in between! It might sound great having a couple of days on your own, but facing the facts, I can imagine so well how lost and abandoned you felt! It's a thing to get used to in small steps - baby-steps actually, a little dose of me-time here and a little of it there, but never too much, I guess that just won't work!
I'm the absolute opposite here, with never having had children I'm more than used - and dependent - on my me-time, by now I so need it that, if someone would take it from me, I'd go completely insane. I could spend days alone, actually did so and didn't have a problem. But this can easily lead to becoming a real loner - and that's not a thing I'm having on my life-plan :)

 
At 12:07 AM, Blogger miss88keys said...

You look so comfy in your hammock & now I know where all my hummingbirds are -- they're eating at your house because I don't have enough flowers for them right now.

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger Lolly said...

Love the hammock picture! I wanted to tell you that I *love* your new haircut too! You are stylin'!

I bet things would be different now that you knit ;)

 
At 4:52 AM, Blogger uhoava gnu said...

I'm sure you'll have heaps of knitting to steel your time in future! ;)

 
At 7:01 AM, Anonymous erin said...

I dream of all the things I can do when I will be alone, but I guess you're right, I would tire of it in no time. By the way, if we had your hammock in our house, I think we would all be fighting to lie in it :)

 
At 7:03 AM, Anonymous erin said...

by the way that post was me, don't know what I did the link didn't come out :)

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Areli said...

I'm the opposite, I love my family, but I cherish my alone time. My parents will take the kids for a week this summer and I look forward to it. I will miss them like crazy but I will very much enjoy my time alone :-)

 
At 8:38 AM, Anonymous Cynthia said...

Hey there- happy knitting : ) Regarding your post the other day and the goldfish....I wanted to let you know...it's about the poor ill-fated goldfish. On a recent trip to the pet store I was informed that goldfish need both a filter system and an O2 bubbler to live happily ever after. Apparently the little guys die from ammonia (?) build up and lack of O2. So, I guess that explains why all mine died when I was a kid...not counting the one that jumped out of the bowl to perish on the floor. If you want a low-maintenance fish, a Betta is a better choice as they only need a bowl with water to be happy : )

 
At 12:18 PM, Blogger Mom (a.k.a. Mary Ann) said...

One great thing about knitting is that you can be having me time and still be making something for and thinking of someone else.

 
At 2:38 PM, Blogger patti said...

When I was prego with my first, I was on bedrest for a month. I was bored to tears! Of course, I was only supposed to get up to go to the bathroom or get something to eat, but still, I felt like I was in jail! I had my hubby bring me projects to work on- I painted some little birdhouses, cross stitched bookmarkers for my Mom and MIL, read, etc. Still, I was BORED! So I totally know what you mean. (And yeah, I widh I had known how to knit back then!!)

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger keohinani said...

your haircut? absolutely adorable!
nothing like a great knitting project as company :) and knitters in the family, too!

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger Mia said...

Hi,
Yeah, that empty nest thing... not really all it's cracked up to be. My boys have all been gone for about 3 years now. In some ways it's good.. but I'm same as you.. I like to have people around me who need me, or at least notice if I'm there or not.

Thank God for knitting... among other things :-)

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger KnitPastis said...

Look at you relaxing! I see you made some changes to your sidebar. I finally got a chance to do mine too!

 
At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Jeanie said...

Waaaaahhhhh..... I SO know how you feel Lynda! Just remember, you'll have ME too if you need company when all your birds have left your nest ;-)

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger Cherice said...

My baby starts kindergarten in August. I'll have 2.5 hours to myself. I've not had that for the past 8 years (I only had a year with both my older kids in school before I had my youngest son). I remember being lonely. If I get a rare chance at going uptown alone (I do go every now and again with a girlfriend...a grown up girlfriend, not my 4 year old) I feel like I'm naked or something. It's crazy isn't it?!

 

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