Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Passion and Seduction

I am passionate about many things.

I am not easily seduced.

I am passionate about family. My kids. My husband. My God. Beauty.

On our "girl trip" (the one with the First Class Lady) we went to the Guggenheim and there was a Monet exhibit. It was unbelievable. Such beauty. To see it in person.... Standing there in front of REAL Monets. I honestly could have stood there all day and taken them in. Some things are so beautiful you just "feel" them and you can't truly take it all in. I will always remember that feeling, looking at the paintings, the beauty - an overwhelming feeling like there was just too much beauty, history, art - all there at once, that you knew you couldn't take it all in no matter how long you stood there.

Truly, there are those times where you want life to just STOP awhile, so you can take it all in. It's a very visceral feeling that is so rare that it surprises you when you feel it. It's passion.

Like when I walked down the aisle to marry my hubby.... just that moment of unbelievable joy... you just want to stop time. True passion.

I completely passionate about music. It rocks me to my core. Especially hymns and praise music. But really all kinds of music... classical, rock, spiritual...

It's another thing that I just "feel" SOOO deeply that it makes me cry. My kids tease me.... there goes Mom again. I have a new Alan Jackson CD, Precious Memories, where he sings old hymns. I can't listen to it in the car, because I get too emotional, every time, and end up crying. Crying while driving to Vons. Music just intensifies the meaning of the words to a point where I can hardly stand it.

However, seduction is completely different. Passion I have no control over. I'm not so easily seduced. I'm too practical, too "frugal", too controlling, too wary. I don't "fall" easily. Ok, well there's the hubby, he can still do it to me with a look, every time. I fell for him hard and fast the first time I saw him, and still do every day.... but that's different. He an exception. There are few.

I'm not easily seduced by sales, even yarn sales... or "things." I don't buy a lot of stuff. I'm not easily swept away by "I have to have it." Well, except for kitchen stores..... dishes, gadgets, crystal, china.... oooooh, yeah baby, I could fall hard there. But, that's a real exception, and I'm not so seduced I can't walk away and say no.

There is another odd exception - a real seductress..... the "Garden Center." I fall EVERY time. Hard. My head spins with the possibilities. It's all so beautiful. All the plants, the flowers, the fountains, the garden possibilities. Oh, the yard I could have...

While looking for dryers last weekend I fell for it again - almost.... found myself wandering in the garden section of Lowes with stars in my eyes and big ideas in my head.

The reason it is so odd that I would be seduced by the garden center is.... I HATE to garden. Hate it. Hate everything about it, except for the ideas of grandeur. I love gardens. I wish I had an awesome one. I admire other peoples'. I totally get the whole "idea" and can understand how people are passionate about gardening. I really get it..... I just don't "have it" personally.

Hate gardening. hate the dirt, hate the gloves, hate the bugs, hate the weeds.....

I've learned the hard way, too. I've was seduced by the garden center many a time in my younger, new home owner years... fooled myself into thinking I was a gardener, got swept away by it all.... only to have it all die from neglect, or be choked with weeds. I've learned. Don't fall for it. Don't buy it. Don't think this time will be different. I've learned.... I love the idea, I hate the reality of making it happen.

So, we have a very "easy care" yard. The hubby actually "gets" the whole "feel of the earth.... joy of creating, growing.... etc" - but just doesn't have the time for it. So we have grass, roses, bulbs, and our beautiful bougainvillea.

All easy care, all surrounded by wood chips to keep out the weeds. Easy enough for the hubby to keep up with on the weekend - I honestly don't give them a second thought. But I stare out at that beautiful bougainvillea a hundred times a day. I love to look at it. I just don't want to "do it."

That little ring of flowers around the tree up there... that's my weekend homage to the gardening seductress from Lowes. Some petunias. I can do that. On a small scale. You get a big payoff from petunias. They take the heat and grow like weeds. Perfect. I can do a few petunias. Not that I wouldn't like more, so much more, I just have learned to respect my limitations, and say no the the "gardening siren."

I think that's why Kaity has a million knitting projects, and I have a few. She gets totally seduced by the yarn, and the possibilities, and what it could be. She doesn't even have to finish it, she just has to knit it. Feel it. Look at it. She's so free that way.... easily seduced by the next project. I kind of envy her for that.

Me, again.... practical. I guess that's why I don't cast project after project. I LOVE knitting, and the possibilities, and the excitement about what could be. I can be passionate about knitting, but I'm too practical, not easily seduced. I put all my of my heart and soul into the "few." Neither way is better, they are just different.

That sock beginning there.... Claudias Handpainted, in "Passion Fruit." heh heh, passion.


At 11:14 AM, Blogger Ruth said...

That's so ironic that you talk about passion - I was just thinking about that the other day coming out of my own church service (after some really good conversations with friends about life directions/goals). As for being seduced, I think I'm a bit more like you, but because I'm still young, I struggle a tad bit more with self-control (show me a cute handbag, and I completely lose it). =D

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Sharon in Ireland said...

What a well written post. Well done on moving your ticker along too.

At 11:59 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm feel passionate about many things too, but seduced by very few. I wonder what part of the personality that is connected with? Is it a right brain/left brain thing?

At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Beth said...

I totally know what you mean about the Monets! When I get close to a painting, I start to realize that the brilliant artist actually touched that canvas and I get this overwhelmed feeling.

At 3:41 PM, Blogger Holly said...

Last year I told my friend to keep me from going overboard with the summer gardening plans. I'm always so ambitious. But I the heat. . It. And the one million mosquitoes that live in our yard. So everything gets wild around midsummer when I retreat and the weeds take over. I had Jen swear she would save me from myself this year.
Ask me how many tomato plants I have. Sigh.

At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Lynne said...

This sunday, we are singing three of my favorite songs that stir up passion in me for my savior. Our very good friends of many years are leaving our church to go to Oklahoma and this is our final time to sing together on a Sunday until eternity! I am trying to practice and sing all week to work out some of the passion so I can sing properly on Sunday! Check out the Chapel link for some very inspirational music that day...live stream.

At 5:15 PM, Blogger Karen said...

I have to admit, I'm easily seduced by shoes!!! :) I see the little lady bug had jumped again - good for you!!

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Chris said...

What's not to feel passionate about with that sock you have going?!

Hee hee - I am the SAME WAY about gardening. If I could garden by intent, no hands on, man, it would be AMAZING. But als.

At 6:50 PM, Blogger Jen said...

okay.. I feel terrible. You've been posting like 20 times since I last had a chance to check your blog. Eek!

It's funny that you say you're envious of katie for being able to start a bunch of things. I look at DF all kinds of weird when he claims that he loves the fact that I spaz

At 7:00 PM, Anonymous heather said...

Such a pretty post Lynda! Made me all mushy inside.
I can fall for anything, and I'm easily seduced, heh. By the husband of course, by yarn, by gardening plants, by jewelry.... or by any kind of stuff. I like stuff. I'm so shallow. :)

Great sock, by the way.

At 8:12 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Beautiful post! I think I may be a little more like Kaity. Well, you've seen pictures of my stash. LOL!

Now I think you might be just a little susceptible to the seduction of OPI. :)

At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Susanne said...

WOW, your bougainvillea is gorgeous!!! thanks for sharing it with us and hey, I can relate, I have gardened, cut, weeded, mowed, picked and generally done it all over the past @#$%^&* years and now I don't want to do it anymore!!!I just want to knit!:)

At 8:24 AM, Blogger Sonya said...

Great post, Lynda! I love that Precious Memories cd too. I'm too practical/frugal to get too swept up in too many things. I love the process of knitting, but I need to have a useable product at the end.

Kevie's our family gardener, but just between you and me, he gets a little carried away. We planted about 10 packets of sunflowers last weekend. He just called me and told me to add sunflower seeds to the shopping list. Oy.

At 2:35 PM, Blogger KnitPastis said...

Your flowers are so pretty. One of my passions is gardening. Your back yard looks like such a relaxing place to be sitting out knitting.

At 5:29 PM, Anonymous Jeanie said...

Yeah, I can totally relate to Kaity -- I'm so easy it's disgusting! Things that seduce me easily? Just about anything -- shoes, yarn, plants, clothes, STUFF in general... as long as it's beautiful, I want it! Great role model, eh?

At 6:41 PM, Blogger Lorette said...

What a great post! I am so not a gardener. I grew up on a farm, and my mom kept a garden the size of a football field. I have no desire to pull another weed, ever.
I love the sock yarn, very girlie! It should just about match the Rogue!
And thanks for the new Jackson CD recommendation. I didn't know that he'd done a collection of hymns. I just went and listened to it on Rhapsody; In the Garden is one of my favorite hymns ever. Unlike a lot of gospel singers, he really sings it like he believes it.


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