Thursday, March 16, 2006

Slight of Hand and Parlor Tricks

That's what you're getting today.... random babble. You know, so that you don't even notice that Rogue pretty much looks exactly the same as last time you saw it. Just about 4" more of the same...

Here's the random babble that popped into my head this morning - you know, those thoughts or memories that come out of nowhere for no reason - stuff you didn't even remember you remembered??

When I was a kid, really young, before First Grade, when I was so surprisingly brought into another reality, I always thought boys had outie bellybuttons, and girls had innies - and that's how you told them apart (I guess I wasnt' concerned the "other parts" yet). My brother had an outie, I had an innie - in my mind that solidified it. I hadn't seen too many bellybuttons yet in my young life, and so far my theory had proven true.

Until one day on the playground, when we were playing on the bars. Now, back in the day... way back when I was in First Grade, ALL the girls still wore dresses to school. But, we also played on the bars. If you were lucky like me, and had a cool crafty, sewing mom, you had bloomers that matched everything. Very First Grade chic. That way, you could hang upside down on the bars and no one would see your underwear. Very important.

However..... one day Molly, one of my good First Grade buddies, was hanging upside down on the bar and, there it was, staring me in the face..... an outie bellybutton. Oh - NO!!!! Molly was a BOY!!! WHY were her parents dressing her up like a girl and making her be a girl??? I cannot tell you how upsetting this was. Shook me to my First Grade core. It never even dawned on my that my theory might be flawed. To me it wasn't theory, it was truth, something that somehow got stuck in my head and I totally believed. Poor Molly. I could not get over it. All this time, Molly was a boy..... why???

I went home and told Mom that Molly was a boy, and asked why they were making her be a girl. Of course, Mom wanted to know why I was so sure Molly was a boy.... then the whole ugly truth came out.... innies and outies were just that.... and for no really good reason... My way made much more sense. I still wasn't sure I believed her. I tell you what, though..... I was sure glad I had an innie!!!

What bizarre truths did you "make up" for yourself when you were a kid?

12 Comments:

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Jen said...

ok, I don't have any bizarre truths I made up to share, but I just had to say thank you for the laugh today. I love how little minds think!

Oh wait.. I have one. I used to think that mosquitoes only liked to bite darker skinned people because my dad and I would get attacked by them and break out in hives afterward. however, my mom and my brother, both fairer skinned, would never get bitten, and even when they would, they wouldn't even get a bump the size of a pimple!

should I mention that this was less than 5 years ago?

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Sonya said...

There are no theories in childhood, only truths. When all the neighborhood boys were running around shirtless, I wanted to be shirtless too. Mom explained to me that girls had to keep their boobies covered. She didn't mention that this is a social convention, not a biological imperative. So for several years, mine were covered at ALL times, including while changing clothes and bathing.
I'm not sure what I thought would happen if they saw the light of day, but I was quite fearful about it. *Sheesh*

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger Lolly said...

I will have to think on this one - I am sure I have one! Yours was so funny to read - thanks for making me smile, L!

Rogue is so beautiful!! Pink pink pink!

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

I can't remember off the top of my head. I can share one of RM's little cousin's notions. He thought that we all have right hands and wrong hands. RM asked him if he threw a baseball with his left hand, and the little one says, "You mean my wrong hand?"

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

I'm trying so hard to remember one...I know I had MANY...like radios, I honestly thought the ENTIRE SHOW was a record played over the airwaves. You know, like a soundtrack, same songs and commentary from the Djay every time it was, umm, played. My godfather let me in on the truth as he thought it was his fault, he used to record HOURS worth of radio broadcasts from Mexico for my dad. So when I mentioned one day I wanted to hear an older broadcast from the regular radio...yeah.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Chris said...

I'm sure I had them, but my memory is so bad...

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Shelley said...

I had somehow believed that this girl in my class (I was in kindergarten) named Amanda was related to me, a cousin or something. You see, I knew that I had a relative named Amanda (She was my grandfather's sister) but I didn't know anything about her. I just hear my mother and grandmother mention her name from time to time. So, I said to the girl in my class one day that she was my cousin. Her mom was around (I think she was helping in the class or something) for some reason and she got mad at me and told me that we were not related. I was so distraught. Amanda and I had been pretty good friends I thought, and it was pretty cool that we were related...sadly we weren't. I think they ended up moving away the next year but I never forgot that.

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Shelley said...

I was just reading one of the other comments and it sparked another memory.

Whenever I heard a song played on the radio, I had thought they had the actual band/singer at the radio station playing and singing their song. I thought it would get awfully crowded with all those bands playing every day...

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger Cattycorner said...

I thought God had a giant chalkboard where he kept the good and bad tally.

And I agree with Lolly...mmmm pink!

 
At 8:03 PM, Anonymous Julia said...

This is a good one. I was born in October, my sister in March. But in my mind, My birthday came first in the year, because I was born first. I would defend this theory to tears. I was right. No matter what logic they tried to convince me with. My birthday came first. It just was. Oh, and, my sister and I shared a room until I was 10 and she was 7, but when I was little, it was my room, and she was just "Borrowing it"

 
At 8:11 PM, Anonymous Beth said...

I loved your story and your logic! I can't remember anything much except that my mom once caught me hitting my brother and I still deny it. :) It's the family joke now.

 
At 5:15 AM, Anonymous heather said...

I'm a girl! I have an innie.

When I was little I believed all old ladies were named Helen, because both my grandma's were named that. (I think I've mentioned this before, I'm having deja vu.)

 

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